Back to the beginning of swinging.
In the fifties the journalists referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s named “swinging,” but anyway of its name this sexual performance seems to be rising in popularity among ordinary, adult married couples in America. The popular media are paying increasing attention to the trend, regularly putting a encouraging spin on the effects which the lifestyle has upon relationships. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are structured swing clubs in almost all states as well as Canada, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are profitable businesses which supply all levels of social activities for swingers including vacation plans, special retreat sites for swingers, and annual gatherings and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers tour agency, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in December of 1998.
What precisely is swinging? Unlike “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and acceptance of betrayal in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of several people at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated a lot like any other social activity, that can be practiced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or dedication to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the major focus. Swinging is typically done in the presence of one’s spouse and requires the involvement of both to the practice. Though swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are regulations restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its supporters claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the secrecy and dishonesty inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual diversity, the couple can discover their fantasies mutually without dishonesty or guilt. By removing the need for deceit from the marriage, a fresh height of confidence and honesty about all of one’s feelings is apparently achieved without the destructive baggage of suspicion.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and scholarly interest because the attempt to mix sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is basically “unusual” from the western model of romantic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are reciprocally reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle in fact strengthens or weakens marital relationships, but in an era where 37% of husbands and 31% of wives, sometimes so-called milfs admit to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 61%, and where family shakiness and parental neglect of children has become a major national worry, any attempt to redefine “love” and strengthen the marital bond is worthy of our interest. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, extend family ties, and improve the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going section of the population reported in earlier studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the common public. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the happiness of their marriages and life satisfaction generally as higher than the non-swinging population.